6 Signs That Say You’re a Long Way from Home

– August 29, 2010Posted in: Indonesia, RTW
1: A helpful guide to museum etiquette. Thanks to all at the museum in Fort Rotterdam, Makassar, for these handy hints on how to behave in places of learning. Next...

1: A helpful guide to museum etiquette.

Thanks to all at the museum in Fort Rotterdam, Makassar, for these handy hints on how to behave in places of learning. Next time I am thinking of making like a chimp with my droppings, I’ll be sure to think again.

Sign in Indonesian airport toilet, showing users not to squat on the toilet, throw food, utensils or bottles into the toilet, or flush the toilet using a hose.

2: Instructions on how to use the toilet.

Makassar airport, Indonesia, caters both to Westerners and locals on, perhaps, their first flight ever. Which is why the Western-style thrones have these handy instructions on the side of the cubicle.

For safety reasons all weapons must be kept by air crew during flight.

3: Weapons? Just leave them with the cabin crew.

Thanks to Balikpapan airport, Indonesia, for this reassuring sign. Indonesian airlines aren’t exactly famed for their safety standards. And you do not need to show identification when boarding internal flights. So the notion that gunmen can simply pass their AK-47s to cabin crew and recoup them upon landing made the check-in experience extra, extra-special.

As did the reminder about ditching procedures, when about to ascend to 20-odd thousand feet over the ocean in a flying bucket courtesy of Indonesia’s answer to RyanAir.

Explanation of the uses of Gambir, from circumcise to cance.

4: A panacea for all ills.

Toothache circumcise? Cance by fish sting? Nail pointed strike? Or just keen to stay firm all night? The miracle substance known as Gambir, sold from stalls in Sarawak, Malaysian Borneo, will cover all bases. And then some.

"This is metered taxi. Haggling is prohibited. Request for your receipt."

5: And the other one has bells on.

In Georgetown, Malaysia, taxi drivers quite literally hide their meters under blankets and will not, to paraphrase Linda Evangelista, get out of bed for anything less than 20 ringgit. And the signs on the doors change nothing, I tell you, nothing.

"Specialise in Fish Head Curry and Banana Pan Cake with Honey and Ice Cream."

6: The perfect pairing?

This 24-hour restaurant in Teluk Bahang, Malaysia, serves delicious fish head curry. Also delicious banana pancakes. Just, perhaps, best not together?

Have any comedy signs caught your eye lately? At home, or on your travels?

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